Wings

Oh how time flies. I have had good intentions for getting back to my blog. It's one of the very few times I get to write whatever I feel like writing rather than what I need to write. It has been a long time since I felt like I had something to say—or at least felt like I had something to say and knew how to say it. Also, I've been censoring myself. There are some things I can't talk about here, like the death of my father-in-law because it is so extremely personal to others I love. Then there are things that are just hard to say. I have lots of rants about God and religion that I try hard to keep to myself because there are those of you out there who I love dearly who are very religious. I don't want to offend you and I don't want you to think that I'm judging you. Plus I get so pissed off at politics, and we don't see eye-to-eye on that either do we. But I miss chatting with my friends, which is what I'm doing when I write this. Chatting with some very good friends who I so rarely see or talk with but miss so very very much. So, I hope you'll take my rantings for what they are. Just me—my views, my questions. Just me thinking out loud.

So I have read/heard a couple of interesting things lately. A writer in one of the many magazines I read wrote about a method she uses when she can't find inspiration or the words she needs to say what she's thinking about or even a topic she wants to write about. She calls it the "kitchen sink." She picks out a bunch of random books and magazines and reads just little parts of them. Her book choices range from Hemingway to home repair; they are all kinds of jumbled up topics. She feels like it kick starts her creativity. I realized the other day that I often use TV, books, and magazines as my kitchen sink. The writing, pictures, themes, colors, characters... inspire me. They're fun and funny. Sad and weird. Pretty and complex. Have you ever read another person's writing and wondered how they did that? How they put those words together to communicate that idea? It's a neat feeling. Almost butterflies. Strangely, I feel that way about some of the Longhorn football players. Proud of them. Inspired by them doing the exact thing they were supposed to in a manner that is like art, that is beautiful to witness. Inspiration can come from such strange and unpredictable places. Look for it or don't, but be aware of it when it reaches out to you, and stop for it. Embrace it and roll around the feeling a bit. It's a nice feeling. Complex with its multiple layers of emotion.

Which brings me to the other thing. On NPR yesterday there was a guy talking about his book on slowing down. I found him to miss his own point a little bit, he was focusing more on the actual slowing down rather than the reason for slowing down, but nevertheless, it made me think about slowing down. I think I'm back to my boring ol' simplify theme. But simplifying is so underrated. It's a wonderful way to approach life. I need to re-embrace it and apply it in a way that actually works in my life. Ya know I love clothes, lipstick, magazines, shower gels, a well-stocked kitchen, and using different products for the sake of change. I don't stick well to schedules and am the enemy of routine. These loves do not lead to a simple life in the purest form. But simplicity is still possible. Carter and I have built our lives around it really, avoiding the things that complicate our focus and pull us away from what we're devoted to. That seems like the best way to live simply. (That and one good calendar that people actually look at.) So I'm taking down my Facebook site and disabling my Twitter account. I'm not taking up texting, and I'm deleting half the stuff in my computer files. I've separated my work e-mail from my personal e-mail (now jennghayfl@gmail.com), and I'm getting rid of every shirt and pair of pants in my closet that is a size 2. And though I'll continue to be controlling of my kids' environment, well, I think I'll just continue to be controlling of my kids' environment.

I'll simplify where I can and where it's important to me in order to create the big picture I'm going for. I'll slow down enough to be inspired. And someone PLEASE remind me of this before PTO elections next year!