There aren't enough hours in a day to do it all, and by all I don't just mean being a good mother, wife, and employee. I mean being a good friend, daughter, sister-in-law, aunt, mommy to the dog, housekeeper... Not to mention fitting in the magazine and TV time that is critical to happiness. I got a note from a treasured friend today apologizing for being a bad friend lately. I wanted to hug her and tell her "no worries you awesome woman, I feel your pain." But I couldn't because she lives in Texas! My "dreams" over the last week have been anxious, full of me letting my friends down, losing my children, forgetting how to use a phone, missing major work deadlines... See a pattern? Me too. And it's not the pretty kind like pink bead, green bead, silver bead, pink bead, green bead, silver bead. It's the stuck in a rut kind.

I have a super neat calendar that a good friend gave me for my birthday. I have filled it with lists and reminders and timetables. It looks beautiful and I love it. I open it up on my desk each morning and decide what needs to be done. And then I open my e-mail and end up dealing with whatever that brings instead of the plan I have so beautifully considered and written down in pink ink. Then I come home exhausted and frustrated and dream about the blinding light that keeps me from seeing who is talking to me across the table

Seriously. No leukemia. No trees poking holes through my roof. No parents in the hospital, children in the principal's office, husband checking out the girls in his classes. You'd think I could just get a handle on the day-to-day details without them causing me to have to spend my nights wrestling snakes, catching my teeth as they fall out, and trying to make it to the math test for the class I've never been to and can't find the room for. Aack. Think I'll go take a very hot shower and use some very good smelling Origins stuff (that my on-the-ball sister-in-law gave me!).

Sweet dreams.